Did anyone read the Feb. 2010 Cosmo? I saw these articles when I was reading it recently-and thought it was a bit weird. The article talks about how lots of women have been "turning their man too girly" by making them go shopping, do yoga/exercise and eat healthy foods. The author wrote how men will begin to push their women away-and discusses "blurred gender roles." I included these pics I found online from the magazine, which give lists and ideas on how to make sure your man keeps his masculinity-and things your boyfriend "just shouldn't do." One quote from the article-First, why would you want to act like your BF or husband is one of the girls anyway? Your pull to do girlie things with him stems from experiences with your female friends. “Women are intimate with their close friends, we share everything,” says JoAnn Magdoff, PhD…
I agree to a point with this doctor that women do talk to their good friends about personal things, and I totally recognize the need for girlfriends in a woman's life-but why can't women be intimate with their boyfriends too? I just feel like if people are dating-they should have a relationship where they can talk about stuff; or as the article says "share everything."
The article annoyed me-because once again-media outlets are telling men and women how to (or in this case-how not to) act within their masculine or feminine roles. I thought it was an interesting article though and it really reminded me of enforced stereotypes than women and men face everyday-even in relationships with their significant other! The "10 things we hope you never see him do" list could lead to women questioning their boyfriends sexuality-like if their boyfriend does do one of these things, then is he masculine? Should you be concerned? I just feel like there are more important things in relationships than having a "constant worry" that your boyfriend might be too girly.
I was reading this Cosmo about a week and a half ago, and laughed through this entire article! I agree with a lot of what you have to say! Its unreal that a magazine would suggest that these actions mean one thing and one thing only - that your man isn't a man (refering to the "10 things we hope you never see him do" article). "1) Wear a deep cleaning pore strip on his nose" - so what you're telling me is a man that cares about hygiene is in fact not a man? Really? "6) Sing to Lady Gaga on the radio" - oh I get it, they can't like songs by women? This was especially funny to me, because the night before I read this, several of my guy friends (as well as girl friends) were hanging out and sang along to this song at the top of our lungs. I know we have all said this a hundred times now, but this is exactly what is wrong with our society. I don't doubt that relationships will end because of an article like this. There isn't and shouldn't be a right or wrong answer for what makes a man a man and a woman a woman.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you...why are men seen as girly if they sing to lady gaga on the radio or cover a zit with makeup? Well as long as its a zit I don't see the problem with a little touch-up :). To me being a "girly man" is more than singing along to a song thats catchy. Why do we eve relate lady gaga with just women? She makes music for everyone including men...I think that is ridiculous. I think when a guy is able to sing to whatever song he chooses it shows that he is comfortable in his own skin and doesn't need to prove to anyone that he is the "manly man". I mean what is even a manly man? Is it the big muscles and preference of listening to Eminem over Lady Gaga? or is that just what our society defines as a manly man?
ReplyDelete"Lounge on a couch in a Snuggie" That's supposed to be considered too feminine?!? Doesn't cosmo know a little secret? That GUYS get COLD TOO! Also, doesn't Cosmo know that girls like dog shopping too and it could be considered a Girly Date Idea? Again, watching football is also too manly ladies. So next time let's all remember to wear our super high spiky heals in mini skirts and cleavage popping shirt to watch a football game in to make it more "feminine" for us. HA! What a bunch of BOS that Cosmo is feeding people! Your blog actually reminded me of Britney Caronochi's, and so my response is similar to what I wrote for hers. And Heather, I agree with you about some relationships may end because of this article. Especially true if it's self conscious girls reading it who need to prove they can get that Manly Man in order to be valued.
ReplyDeleteI think that this article is ridiculous. I also think that articles such as these are potentially very harmful to relationships that were otherwise perfect. Until magazines such as cosmo come out with these articles, who really thinks about if they are making their boyfriend "too girly" if they are enjoying their relationship? If a man read these articles, it might make them feel like they should not do the fun things they were doing with their girlfriends, which without reading these articles would have never been an issue. I feel like cosmo bashes everything that is fun or different that people in a relationship can do if it does not have to do with sex. Apparently sex or things related to sex, eating, and sports are the only things in a relationship that can keep your man happy or not make him "too girly." I think that if your man is willing to try new things and go out of his comfort zone it says a lot about how much he likes you and it shows self confidence. It shows that he is comfortable enough with himself that he does care if something you ask him to do is girly. I think cosmo has it all wrong because, what is sexier than a confident, open-minded man??
ReplyDeleteI agree with your post completely. I think that the media is always trying to put people into certain categories or roles. We are all individuals and should be able to be interested in whatever we want without fear of crossing gender lines. I found the"sing to lady gaga on the radio" one hilarious because my boyfriend, whenever we get in the car alone will insist that I blast lady gaga, and he knows the words better than I do. And he should be able to do that if he wants to. I noticed though he won't admit to anyone else that she likes her, and knows all the words and I can tell it's because he thinks his guy friends will make fun of him. I think just like women have to conform to certain standards, so do guys. Guys don't want to be seen as weak and want to be perceived as "real" men. It's sad that our culture has made us feel like we need to fit these into roles, because I never like him more than when he's screaming the words to "just dance"
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